George and Martha Washington never had children of their own. Martha, however, had been married previously to Daniel Parke Custis and had four children with him. Two of those children, John “Jacky” Parke Custis and Martha “Patsy” Parke Custis, lived past childhood. Both were quite young when their widowed mother met the future General. By all accounts, George’s care and treatment of her children helped Martha to make the decision to marry the handsome young officer. Due to the terms of Custis family wills, George could not legally adopt the children; otherwise they would have lost their inheritance through their father. George loved the two and raised them as if they were his own. He had a slightly different view on disciplining the children than Martha did. After losing her first two children, Daniel and Frances, at such young ages, she did everything she could to keep her two surviving children healthy and happy, including spoiling them.
Jacky grew up strong and well. He received the opportunity for the best education at the time but was known as being lazy, troubled, and “free willed”. He took no interest in book studies. As he grew older, he took great interest in horses and in having a good time. Patsy, throughout her life, did not have a strong constitution; she suffered from epileptic seizures. She did take more advantage of her educational opportunities than her brother and by all accounts was a sweet, loving, and well-loved girl.
At age 18, in 1773, Jacky announced his engagement to Miss Eleanor Calvert, a granddaughter of the 5th Baron Baltimore. Neither George nor Martha were fully pleased with this announcement. Jacky was still attending college (King’s College, now Columbia University), and Eleanor was only 15. They managed to convince the young couple to wait to wed until Jacky completed his studies.
This plan changed on June 19, 1773. Eleanor was visiting her future in-laws while Jacky was away at college. During luncheon that day, the family was discussing, among other things, wedding plans for the couple. Tragically, Patsy suffered another seizure while at table and died in her stepfather’s arms. Jacky left college to return home. Because of Martha’s intense bereavement at losing her third child, George consented to the wedding to be held at the earliest convenient time to aid in her recovery.
Jacky and Eleanor married on February 3, 1774, at her family home at the Mount Airy estate in Maryland. They eventually moved to an estate closer to Mount Vernon where they started their family. During their 7 year marriage, they had 7 children. Their first daughter as well as later twin daughters died shortly after birth. The other four, Elizabeth “Eliza”, Martha “Patsy”, Eleanor “Nelly”, and George Washington “Wash”, survived to old age.
Martha rejoiced in her grandchildren but remained terrified that she would lose her remaining child. Because of this, Jacky spent minimal time serving under his stepfather during the Revolution. He served as a civilian aide-de-camp to the General at Yorktown and was there for the surrender of General Cornwallis. Sadly, Martha’s fear came true. Shortly after the surrender, Jacky became ill and died on November 5, 1781.
As the General and his Lady settled back into their home life after the War, they offered to raise their two youngest grandchildren to take a bit of a burden off of Jacky’s widow Eleanor. George and Martha raise young Nelly and baby Wash as if they were their own children and not their grandchildren. The two children adored their grandparents and did everything they could in later years to keep the memories of their grandparents alive.
Alfred’s History of America 